Love itself is what’s left over when being “in-love” has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Today, I will share with you a story of how Love was left when being “in-love” faded. This story happened 10 years, 4 months and 8 days ago. It was way back in high school. I transferred from CIT to IHMA (Immaculate Heart of Mary Academy) to spend my last year in high school there. And because I was new to the school I don’t have a lot of friends. What I do, to pass the time is to sit in a corner during recess, together with my pen and notebook, I draw. I am the type to just keep silent, watch and observed people.
During the first week of class, I can’t help but notice this girl. She had a very beautiful hair and such clear hazel brown eyes. My first impression of her was that she was a snob or a “suplada”. I assumed that she would only talk to persons that she likes or knew. I never had the guts to approach her and ask her name.
One time, the class had an exam, because of my horrible handwriting; my paper was not checked properly. I was furious and called out the name of the one who checked my paper. I shouted, “Kinsa ni si Jade Paraiso?” but then, replied a sarcastic, “Ako! Ngano Man?” I was shocked and I couldn’t speak for a second, panicked and replied “Wala lang…”… although embarrassed, I was quite happy for that was how I got her name.
Funny thing about fate is that you don’t really know how it turns out. I thought to myself that Jade wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore because of what happened during that exam. But one time while I was doing my routine of sketching on my notebook, somebody approached me, gave me a piece of paper and said. “Pwede ko nimo drawingan ani?” I looked up and found out that it was Jade smiling while holding a “Ghost Fighter playing Card”. I could not react to the situation; I just smiled back and nodded.
That moment on, everything in my life changed. I started to look forward to meeting her every morning. All I think of was how to just talk to her or be noticed by her. I am confused; I don’t know what to do anymore. Every time I see her I felt this warmth in me. I felt butterflies fluttering up my throat whenever she is near. Then it hit me… I fell in love
I didn’t have the confidence to approach her and tell her what I feel. Every night I asked myself on how to express my feelings towards her. Then one time, out of nowhere… I wrote a love letter. I expressed the way I feel for her in words, writing the letter, thinking it was the last. But the weirdest thing I did was I never wrote my name on the letter or my initials.
During our laboratory class I excused myself and hurried back to our classroom. There I found Jade’s folder and quickly inserted the letter I made then got back to the laboratory. When we got back to the room, I carefully observe Jade from my seat while waiting for her to open her folder. A couple of minutes later, she read my letter and asked around from who it was.
Because I was satisfied with the result, I wrote another letter and the plan was to use the letter as an excuse. That way, I could approach her and talk to her by acting as an “errand boy” for the guy sending her the letter. Jade also replied the letters sent to her and gave it to me.
A couple of days passed and a couple of letters later, I finally got enough self confidence and decided to expose everything. I told her in the letter that I am willing to meet her personally if she could spare the time. Jade wrote a reply, stating the time and place which eventually became our very first date. It took place at Dunkin Donuts in Minglanilla. She never expected me to be there and even though that I was there by coincident, I explained to her about the letters, she listened and just smiled as if nothing happened. But I can clearly notice her blushing face.
We’ll after that day, rumor spread at school that I am courting Jade. I didn’t know how it got out but I was thankful, because everyone supported me on it. I started to walk with until she gets inside a tricycle bound for her home. I always approach her during our vacant time. But every time I tell her the words “I love you”, she wouldn’t reply. A few more weeks of courting passed but still no answer. I started to feel down and thinking of giving up.
It was the 15th of March, around 5pm while walking her to the tricycle stop. Out of nowhere, she asked me to lean over and whispered to my ear; the words that’ll change our lives forever. “Katong imong pangutana ba, akong tubag kay YES’.
In the beginning of this story, I stated a phrase from St. Augustine “Love itself is what’s left over when being in-love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. “. Well because it really reflects this event. For 10 years Jade and I have been through a lot, we changed and learned more about each other. We found our strength and weaknesses, exchanged words of hatred and love. We’ve been through ups and downs but we still hold on. Our being in-love faded through time, we learned to love one another and accepted our imperfections, and we experienced Love.
I always pray to God that I can settle with the woman in my dreams so I can share with her the rest of my life. Jade is not that woman, she is not the woman of my dreams … because God has been very kind to me.
I realized now that God didn’t give me the woman of my dreams but instead God gave me a woman beyond my dreams.